Your Soul is a River by Nikita Gill

Hello, bookish people! It’s been a while, I know, but I’ve been super buys with uni and exams. I’m done with all that for now so you know what that means – bring on the books! 😀 My bookish friend Samanta ( chose last month’s book for our book club and so we read a poetry collection called Your Soul is a River by Nikita Gill. While she loved the book, I found it to be too simplistic, Rupi Kaur-like and so I only gave it 3 out of 5 stars. There were some poems however, which I really liked and this was my favourite.



Some people grow entire oceans

inside themselves instead of hearts.

It’s  why they have more love to

give than anyone can ever return.

It’s why they awaken sometimes

to heartache and tear soaked pillows.

Sometimes it is a blessing to love something

so much more than you love yourself.

Sometimes it is a curse to love anything

so much more  than you love yourself.

What I love most about this poem is how it conveys the utter agony of being an overly emphatic, sensitive person. This is so me! I cry at commercials with cute kittens in them and it takes me a long time to get over a book hangover. I often wonder what it would be like to just feel flat all the time. To be emotionally stable. It feels like it would be so much easier to deal with general life stuff but at the same time it also feels so sad, to not be excited about your favourite books and obsessed with stories or TV series. There is a thin line and when you can walk properly on it, it means you get to enjoy life so much more. You just have to remind yourself not to step over into the moody parts.

Moving on from my favourite poem from this collection, Samanta and I chose another poem together which we both liked and we ended up choosing this one.




To be fully human

fully kind and true

is full of bruising.


that is how things

become soft.


What you have

hidden inside

your skin.

It is more precious

than diamonds

or gold.


This poem represents something completely different to me than it does to Samanta. What I see is the daily struggle of someone who suffers from mental illness. While our scars may not (always) appear on our physical bodies, we do wear them on the insides of our skin. And although it is pure hell sometimes, it also makes you a kinder and softer person. Someone who understands and doesn’t judge. And kindness is such an underestimated quality nowadays.

Despite the fact I didn’t love this book, there are some pretty good poems in it. I just don’t like this modern, tumblr inspired poetry, because too often it seems like a random sentence broken down into verse. And there is nothing wrong with that but at least try making it original and meaningful. I have yet to find a poetry collection that will inspire and move me (I’m counting on Jen Campbell’s Girl Aquarium).

Wrap-up: April 2018

April was such a stressful month for me, I literally have no idea what happened during these 30 days. Since I had so much work to do for uni, I didn’t get to read as much as I wanted to but those books that I did manage to read, were absolutely wonderful, I think I gave five start to all of them. So these are the books I managed to read in April:

  • The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden (Winternight Trilogy #1)
  • The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
  • The Curse by Jina S. Bazaar (Roxanne Fosch #0.5)
  • Heir of Ashes by Jina S. Bazaar (Roxanne Fosch #1)
  • The Whispering Skull by Jonathan Stroud (Lockwood & Co. #2)

I also managed to reread some of my feel-good novels from the lovely Joss Stirling and these two were the ones I picked:

  • Angel Dares by Joss Stirling (Benedicts #5)
  • Summer Shadows by Joss Stirling (Benedicts #6)

Since I wrote full reviews on most of these books, I won’t get into too much details. Besides all of the books listed above I also read some short stories from Unexpected Magic: Collected Stories by Diana Wynne Jones. Now, I started reading this collection at the beginning of the year but something just seems off about it, I honestly have to struggle to finish a story. I adored the Crestomanci short stories but these are just weird and not my cup of tea. I only have one left, but it’s a pretty long novella, so it will take me some time to finish.

My lovely Benedict brothers brightened my too-dark days and I’m really glad I bought the entire series. I just keep going back to them and when there’s nothing left, I read fanfiction. I normally don’t read fanfiction but this series is the exception and I even wrote two stories myself, about my favourite Benedict brother, Victor. Honestly I have no idea why I’m so obsessed with this series. *sigh*

May is going to be even busier than April so I probably won’t have time to read as much. That’s okay, though, I will catch up during the summer. Now if I had to pick my favourite book of last month, I’d probably pick Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society though I also adored The Bear and the Nightingale. But Guernsey just broke my heart and I know this book will always have a bit of my soul.

Speaking of this absolutely stunning novel, my bookish friend Samanta and I ( started our very own book club! And this was the first book we read together. We’ll write a joined post on it somewhere in the (hopefully near) future. And we already decided on what our next read will be. Now we just need to find the time to start reading it.

I confess to being a bookworm

For today’s post I was inspired by the lovely Imogen from BookSundays (you can check out her youtube channel and Instagram account) because she posted a video called Confessions of a Reader where she shared some bookish facts about her. I absolutely loved that video and so I decided to share some confessions of my own.

  1. Even though I adore hardbacks and mostly buy books with hardback covers because they look the prettiest on my shelves, I secretly find paperbacks the easiest to hold in my hands and read.
  2. I’m a huge sucker for romance. Not romance novels, just love stories in general. In almost every book I read I try to find that one love story I adore and look forward to seeing how it progresses.
  3. My reading progress is super slow because I love to take my time reading a book and admiring how it is written. Also I want to immerse myself fully into the world of the book I am currently reading which cannot be done if I only skim through it.
  4. I create my own world around every book I read – I have tons of fanfiction inside my head. Tons.
  5. Having too many books on my physical TBR pile makes me super nervous.
  6. I adore fantasy above all but my secret ideal book is a combination of fantasy, drama, adventure and romance.
  7. I have several fictional boyfriends.
  8. When I compare myself to fictional characters I always find my life horrifyingly boring. So what I do is I read more.
  9. I might prefer reading to writing.
  10. Even though I know this only makes me feel bad, I constantly compare my reading challenge to others and it kills me to see other people read more than I do.
  11. Recommending books to my friends is great and I don’t mind lending them my own but whenever they take too much time to return them I tend to get anxious.
  12. I cry a lot while reading. But I also laugh out loud a lot.
  13. When I’m out in public I often feel embarrased by what I’m currently reading, like fantasy books aren’t “good enough” and I should be reading the classics.
  14. I’m not a fan of classical literature. I do understand why it’s important but I find that often people who say they adore classical literature only say that because they want to appear smart and well-educated. And when they say that, I just want to scream at their faces: read what you love, people!
  15. Often when I meet up with friends I don’t have anything to say because I’m practically living in the world of the book I’m currently reading and so that’s all I can think about.
  16. I love buying books for my friends. It’s like the ultimate sign of my affection towards them.
  17. I would love to start a bookclub but my friends either don’t read or they read other genres so it would be hard to pick a book that would suit everyone.
  18. I don’t understand poetry. I wish I did.
  19. When I don’t bring a book with me I tend to regret it so I try to always have a book in my backpack whenever I leave the house. Especially when I have to drive my grandma to the doctors. I’ll only get burned once.
  20. The part I dislike most in books, is the beginning. The first fifty pages are there just to set the mood but the real joy starts after that.

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur


Normally I don’t read poetry but since this book has such a hype about it, I decided to make an exception and see what it was all about. To be honest I always consider best-selling books with a certain reserve because I’ve more than once read them and felt like they didn’t deserve the praise they got. The Night Circus for example was one of such books and The Miniaturist. Milk and honey is definitely the next on the list.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I hate poetry, quite the opposite, I think it is magical how poets can express themselves in such a beautiful way but this book just doesn’t feel poetic AT ALL. It’s not the lack of rhymes either, because I love modern poems that don’t rhyme. You can tell a lot in a mere sentence. A SENTENCE. But this here is just, agh, so disappointing.

My friend said to me that the reason why I didn’t like the book is because I’m not in the “right place and time” meaning I don’t know what a break up feels like. Well I also don’t know what it’s like to do magic but JK Rowling made a pretty convincing way of demonstrating it to me. It’s the way this book is written that gets on my nerves.

You probably know what the book is about so I won’t bore you with the synopsis. I absolutely hated how the author kept whining about break ups and men and how she can exist on her own (well obviously not if all you wrote about is men!). You can literally just add music, turn the poems into lyrics and you’ve got yourself a new Taylor Swift album!

Some poems were pretty good, I agree (nothing innovative though, I seriously don’t understand the hype) but most of them were just









Because apparently this is consider poetry.

By the end of the book I got so frustrated, I wanted to flush the book down the toilet! (Which I didn’t because I borrowed it from a friend.) This poetry is supposed to be feministic yet the main theme is problems with men. Could you please stop fixating your entire life on men and start doing something relevant with it? I honestly cannot believe that people actually love this book and feel inspired by it. Please read other poets, Keats for example, and you’ll see what love poetry REALLY IS.

You should see my face right know. Just writing about this book makes me frustrated again.